It is with great sorrow I announce the promotion to the obscurity of Anxiety. Anxiety died in a comatose. At the time of his passing, Anxiety was undergoing treatment at a metropolitan hospital called Mind. He had been diagnosed with severe acute paralysis two weeks ago. The paralysis was neither as a result of travelling to Pakistan nor Afghanistan. It was not as a result of drinking contaminated water.
The paralysis was as a result of a life-threatening punch he received from Faith during a showdown at The Bible Study Room Square Garden. It was a contest like no other as each opponent went for the jugular of another. It was a no holds barred match. Anxiety entered from Left Side, being cheered on by cares and worries of daily life. Depression was waiting outside the ring, to usher him into the club of destroyers, only if he beat Faith black and blue.
Anxiety looked malnourished, after feeding on reality shows, Al Jazeera live, town gossip and nonsense of his buddies. He also looked as if he wanted to jump out of his skin. One could see butterflies dance in his stomach.
Faith entered from the Right Side. He was full of hope, grit, and looked healthy, after feeding on the Word. Faith could deploy all combat skills; amazing punching abilities and excellent defence. Tons of talent, power, speed, athleticism, defence, skills, and work ethic were at display. Lots of quick movements, frenetic energy, very evasive, elusive AND EXPLOSIVE! Faith, as always, was well-conditioned and sharp; He could dash way in and land big shots. Indeed he was a perpetual ball of energy that kept moving around, defying rhythm and traditions. Anxiety could be seen losing balance and arms swinging wearily through the air instead of firing off the next punch.
Faith is a high-volume, energetic boxer with a bottomless pit of energy. His stamina and strength are unmatched. It appears that he knows the value of resistance and endurance training.
It did not take one minute before Anxiety was forced to kiss the canvas. One right hook and a left uppercut (what a combo!) did the job.
That’s how Anxiety lost it. He lost it for good.
Fear was supposed to arrange for his burial. But it seems that tragedy stalks this club like a leopard. Fear is in a persistent vegetative state after a clash with Hope. The contest was cut short within the first minute of First Round after Fear was pushed into a corner and showered with a volley of hooks.
Love also gave Hate, a member of Anxiety’s tag team a tombstone piledriver. The doctors at the Johns Hopkins gave a bad report; Hate will remain paralysed entirely for the rest of his life.
Guys, it appears that we don’t know who is going to bury Anxiety. But one thing we know is that there was no match-fixing. Anxiety and his buddies lost squarely. Anyway, let the dead bury their dead.